Dear helper,
Overwhelm is something I often help my clients navigate.
Sometimes it shows up around their work:
clients they want to serve in a more impactful way,
businesses they want to grow,
books they want to finish writing.
Other times it comes through personal challenges:
an unexpected diagnosis,
the loss of a meaningful
relationship,
or simply not having enough time for the self-care they need.
Overwhelm can range from a quiet background pressure to a loud, crushing feeling.
And when it shows up, it’s natural to believe that if we could just change the circumstance or guarantee the outcome, the overwhelm would disappear.
But here is the truth:
Overwhelm is not created by external circumstances.
This is something I help helpers untangle in my coaching work all the time.
When we shift the thoughts and identities behind overwhelm, everything begins to move with much more clarity and ease.
I know this can be hard to believe. But overwhelm is created by the thoughts we’re having about those circumstances.
Let me give you an example.
One of my clients was preparing a presentation for a class she had been invited to teach at a new venue.
This was something she had been working toward for a long
time. She felt excited, but mostly she felt overwhelmed about getting everything done.
She shared her to-do list with me:
Finish planning the class outline
Market the class in other spaces where she teaches and on social media
Prepare the materials she would need (music, handouts,
and a few other tools)
Choose what she would wear for the class
When she finished sharing, I reminded her that she had accomplished far more challenging things than this.
I knew her overwhelm wasn’t coming from the to-do list.
It was coming from the thoughts in her mind.
So I asked her what those thoughts were.
She shared:
This is my first time teaching at this venue. I need it to be extra good.
What if they don’t invite me back?
What if the owner regrets inviting me?
What if the students don’t like it?
What if they’re unimpressed?
What if I’m actually not ready to teach here?
And the thoughts continued.
As I read them back to her, she could feel how heavy they were in her body.
These thoughts were coming from an outdated identity, what I call the Martyr Helper Identity, which often minimizes your expertise and keeps you stuck in a “rookie” mindset.
Back when she was first starting as a therapist and mindfulness teacher, those insecurities made sense.
But now she had been teaching for years and had deep
experience.
As she recognized this, her body visibly relaxed.
So I invited her to come back to the present moment. To the true version of herself today. The one with real expertise and experience.
I asked her what thoughts that version of her could hold as she prepared for this class.
She shared:
I'm so excited to teach at this venue that I respect so much.
I'm ready for this.
They wouldn't have invited me if they didn't appreciate my work.
Participants are going to find this class meaningful.
If someone asks something I don't know, I can simply be honest and say that I don’t know.
Whatever happens, I know I can handle it. I have so much experience.
As she spoke these thoughts, her entire demeanor shifted.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed, she felt grounded, excited to finish
planning the class, and genuinely ready for the experience.
I reminded her that overwhelm usually comes from a thought like:
I can’t handle this.
or
I don’t know if I can handle this.
And very often, that thought is coming from that old
Martyr Helper Identity, which gets stuck in self-doubt rather than the truth of who we are today.
So the next time you feel that familiar wave of overwhelm rising, before trying to change the circumstance or push yourself into action, pause for a moment.
Write down the thoughts that are present.
Then
gently shift them toward thoughts that create empowerment.
A powerful place to begin is simply:
I can handle this.
I have the capacity for this.
If there’s something I don’t know, I will figure it out.
When you
practice this, you anchor into your Sovereign Helper identity.
The version of you who values your wisdom, trusts your experience, and knows you have the capacity to meet what life and your calling ask of you.
From that place, things that once felt overwhelming begin to feel clearer, lighter, and much more manageable.
If this
resonates with you, and you recognize this pattern of overwhelm in your own life or work, I invite you to schedule a free 1-Hour Sovereignty Consult HERE.
In this conversation,
we’ll explore:
• where overwhelm may be showing up in your life or work
• the old thought patterns or identities that may be fueling it
• how you can step more fully into your Sovereign Helper identity so you can move forward with greater ease and impact
Many helpers discover that what once felt overwhelming
becomes much lighter once they reconnect with the deeper truth of who they are.
If this calls to you, I would love to connect.
Many blessings,
Lisa
